The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A Little Past Late to the Now

Things have drastically changed in the past year and a half. I continued to do hair school and finished in March of 2011. I am now a licensed Cosmetologist working at a Spa in Cottonwood Heights. I feel like that I have become a different person being the hairstylist that I am. Sometimes, I don't think I am the person that I want to be.

I stopped going to church early in 2011 and quickly thought that the Church wasn't the right place for me to be with my sexuality. I had the mindset that I couldn't sit in a place where all they talked about was marriage between a man and a woman. I felt differently, considering that I considered myself to be Gay. I was going to be marrying a man, raising a family and living happily ever after.

There have been events. Many, in fact that have made me the person I am today and why I am choosing what may be the biggest decision in my life.

I was involved with two girls who were manipulative liars and dragged me down to the point of (kind of) no return. Drama, and not good for me or for the people around me (and them.) I decided to get out of that toxic relationship and it turned out for the better. My relationships with my family blossomed and I felt a huge relief off of my shoulders. Then I decided that it would be fun to drink. Did it twice. Now I am done, completely. I was sick for many, many days after each hangover. What is the point of that? I even got a tattoo which I love. :D

Who was I becoming?

The past two weeks, I have been extremely sick where I have lost 10 LBS and took a lot of time off of work. Early in my sickness, my dad gave me a blessing. Something that I needed more than anything. Tears welled up in my eyes as I was listening to the blessing and I a little spark of warmth and peace filled me up. It was something I hadn't felt in such a long time. The Spirit had felt that It was the right time to tell me, Its time to change. I looked at my mom and said that It was time to make some major changes in my life. She agreed.

The next day, CTR went back onto my finger and my knees went to the ground. I had a lot of time to think about while being sick. (sidenote: still sick; recovering from it.) There was something missing inside of me. I couldn't really tackle what it was until I saw my piano that my grandma had bought for me sitting there untouched. I needed to start playing the piano again.

My Decision:
Going back to school for Piano Performance and going back to church. All needs to happen.

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