The BOM

The Book of Mormon

One of my favorite things to read is The Book of Mormon. Its refreshing and very uplifting and for the last couple of days I have taken a copy of it with me to school. While on my breaks and lunch I will read a couple chapters in it and also read my patriarchal blessing if there is some time left before I have to begin class again. I love reading this book. It gives me so many insights and things to think about. Its an adventure and a road of war. It also is so spiritual and so wonderful. I'm glad to have it in my life.

I'm trying to be better at reading the scriptures. Its something that makes my day better rather than making it smokey. You see, two of the girls in my class in school smoke. Usually for their break that is what they do. They smoke. For the first couple of times I would go out and talk to them while they smoked. I know its been like a week, but i'm sick of staying out there while the smoke gets into my face and them swearing all the time. Its not something that I want to be around anymore. I've been around it too much that I just want friends that won't do that in front of me and will actually help me try to become better and have the same standards that I do. So, rather than staying outside with the girls I will read The Book Of Mormon and my patriarchal blessing. So much better than sitting outside with the smoke.

The Book Of Mormon has helped realize how much I do love the church and how to recognize the spirit. I had never really felt like that I had actually felt the spirit, but reading the BOM has made it more clear to me and the experiences that I hear about from other people help me as well figure out what the spirit feels like, to me. Its such a great feeling that I am so giddy about all of this. I just want to rush out and do something about it. I want to go somewhere and do something about it. I want my WHOLE life and EVERYTHING I do to be about the church and the gospel of which I am so proudly a part of. I love this feeling and I don't ever want it to go away.

Patriarchal Blessings

"A patriarchal blessing is a unique and remarkable privilege that can come to the faithful members of the Church having sufficient maturity to understand the nature and the importance of such blessings. These privileged blessings are a powerful witness of the mission of the Lord Jesus Christ in bringing exaltation to each of us. Like many blessings, they must be requested by the person or by the family of the one desiring the blessing.

Our testimonies can be strengthened and fortified and our lives given greater purpose every time we read and reread our patriarchal blessings. By their very nature, all blessings are qualified and conditional, regardless of whether the blessing specifically spells out the qualification or not. Each blessing is absolutely qualified and given upon the condition of the faithfulness of the recipient of the blessing." President James E. Faust

One of my all time favorite things to read is my Patriarchal Blessing. In fact, I read it today while on my break at school. Having not read it in quite a while it felt so good to be able to read it and see what my Heavenly Father has in store for me, either in this life or the next. Its such a blessing to read it and be able to feel of that sweet spirit. I actually felt it today. Such a great feeling.

My patriarchal blessing has strengthened my testimony every time I read it and it will continue to do so. Today while I read it, I had this thought come into my mind. In my blessing it mentions temple marriage. That is what struck a thought. A thought that I knew would bother me for a long time. I asked my self this question, 'Will I ever get married in the temple in this life?' I've thought about it before, but not as much as I have today.

A temple marriage has always been something i've wanted. I have wanted that eternal companion and a loving family to be with for all eternity. I want that love that I have seen between numerous couples throughout my life. Of course there is this one thing that makes it impossible. My sexuality makes it hard not only be able to serve a mission, but also to get married in the temple. I know that there are gay men who have gotten married to a woman and in the temple. I do not know how this would work. Although I want it to work, because I want to be able to have those blessings here on the earth.

Right now, all I know is that I have to talk to my Bishop. I am going to turn my life around and be the best that I can be. I do love the church and my choice is to stay in the church no matter what it takes to stay in.