A Peaceful Feeling

"You live in a glorious time—the last dispensation. This is the time when before long the gospel will be preached in every nation on the face of the earth. This is the winding-up scene, when all things will come together in preparation for the Second Coming.

What a time to receive a call from the prophet of the Lord to serve a full-time mission, to bring souls to Christ! No wonder the Lord says, “The thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring souls unto me, that you may rest with them in the kingdom of my father” (D&C 15:6).

How important it is for you to be spiritually prepared, to receive the Spirit of the Lord so that you can render missionary service. I am sure every missionary hopes to have experiences like the sons of Mosiah (see Alma 23:5), or like Nephi and Lehi, who helped in the conversion of thousands (see Hel. 5:19). Stories of missionaries from the scriptures stir within us all a great desire to be better missionaries, to serve more worthily, to teach with power and authority—to truly serve as an instrument in God’s hands to bring about the salvation of many souls.

However, some do not realize that in order to go forward and serve in that manner, they must truly be prepared. They must be worthy in order to be part of a “missionary team,” with their companion, to serve in a district, in a zone, in a mission. They cannot go out to battle unprepared (see D&C 27:15–18).

In such a battle, we must take on the whole armor, not just part of it (see Eph. 6:11–18 and D&C 27:15–18). Can you see, my young friends, how, if someone were to go out to the battle unprepared, he would surely falter? He would subject himself to serious consequences and might also adversely affect the “team” with which he serves. He would not be able to fulfill the divine destiny the Lord has given to missionaries, to take the gospel to all the nations of the earth." by Elder Gene R. Cook of the Seventy "The Message:
Worthy to Serve"

Today, my friend had his homecoming talk and it was absolutely amazing. The spirit was so strong and during his talk I had numerous amounts of prayers answered. Lately, I've been wondering when I should go on a mission and if I should finish school. Today, that prayer was answered. I had fasted and prayed numerous times about going on a mission and today I had it answered through my friend.

He stood up and began speaking. Talking about his mission got me thinking about mine(again) and he said something that sparked this thought, When should I go?Instantly I got this impression that I needed to go and I needed to go now. It was strong and it hit me so hard. I knew that I needed to begin my papers, regardless of school or the things ahead.

I'm excited to start this journey and I have faith in Savior Jesus Christ that I can do what the Lord wants of me. I'm grateful for this opportunity.

In The Right Place

Are you in the right place?

I just got back from a camping trip up to the Sand Dunes with the ward. It was exhausting, but very rewarding. I got to see my friend who came back Thursday from his mission and all he could really talk about were the things he missed such as movies, music and also his Mission.

At points during the camp out, my friend would on occasion say stuff that he would say to like an investigator. He would tell us stories in The Book Of Mormon and would go off about some his favorite books which all consisted of LDS non-fiction and how much he loved them. It was so awesome to hear him talk about these things and I began to think....more. I want to go on a mission. I really do. I think that is exactly what I want to do. As I sit here now I have this feeling of 'i'm not doing enough.' I don't know exactly how to explain it, but its a feeling of anticipation and anxiety.. Anticipation of what? I don't know.

CTR

Choose The Right

This morning when I woke up the first thing I did was I looked at my phone. I went to my music and sat there listening to one of my favorite songs by Kate Voegele. I laid there thinking about how my life was turning out and then I looked at the ring on my ring finger on my right hand. There in plain and clear writing were the three letters, CTR. I looked at it for awhile just thinking about what it meant to me.

My friend came home from his mission yesterday and I was so excited. He had been serving the Lord for 2 years and that was something that everyone knows that I had been struggling with. But after a lot of thinking, I have decided that a mission is something that I want to do and It has become a desire. Although there is a desire now to go, there are things I have to work on before I can go through with the papers and such.

I started hair school in March and it is something that I love to do. I now observe everyone's hair and I go through my mind what I could do with others hair. Its something that I have grown to love. I do, however, wish I had figured out that the mission was a desire before I started school. It is, how it happened and I will continue with school then once I graduate I will start my papers, or when i'm ready I'll go.

What does the acronym CTR mean to me? CTR means to me what I stand for, not just Choose The Right. Although, it does help me choose the right it helps me understand who I am in this life and why I'm here and where I'm going. And right now it tells me that I'm going to prepare to go on a mission because it is the right thing to do. The Lord wants me to go, and I know that now.

Patriarchal Blessings

"A patriarchal blessing is a unique and remarkable privilege that can come to the faithful members of the Church having sufficient maturity to understand the nature and the importance of such blessings. These privileged blessings are a powerful witness of the mission of the Lord Jesus Christ in bringing exaltation to each of us. Like many blessings, they must be requested by the person or by the family of the one desiring the blessing.

Our testimonies can be strengthened and fortified and our lives given greater purpose every time we read and reread our patriarchal blessings. By their very nature, all blessings are qualified and conditional, regardless of whether the blessing specifically spells out the qualification or not. Each blessing is absolutely qualified and given upon the condition of the faithfulness of the recipient of the blessing." President James E. Faust

One of my all time favorite things to read is my Patriarchal Blessing. In fact, I read it today while on my break at school. Having not read it in quite a while it felt so good to be able to read it and see what my Heavenly Father has in store for me, either in this life or the next. Its such a blessing to read it and be able to feel of that sweet spirit. I actually felt it today. Such a great feeling.

My patriarchal blessing has strengthened my testimony every time I read it and it will continue to do so. Today while I read it, I had this thought come into my mind. In my blessing it mentions temple marriage. That is what struck a thought. A thought that I knew would bother me for a long time. I asked my self this question, 'Will I ever get married in the temple in this life?' I've thought about it before, but not as much as I have today.

A temple marriage has always been something i've wanted. I have wanted that eternal companion and a loving family to be with for all eternity. I want that love that I have seen between numerous couples throughout my life. Of course there is this one thing that makes it impossible. My sexuality makes it hard not only be able to serve a mission, but also to get married in the temple. I know that there are gay men who have gotten married to a woman and in the temple. I do not know how this would work. Although I want it to work, because I want to be able to have those blessings here on the earth.

Right now, all I know is that I have to talk to my Bishop. I am going to turn my life around and be the best that I can be. I do love the church and my choice is to stay in the church no matter what it takes to stay in.

Mission - Should I Go?

Helaman 5:12

A week before General Conference my parents home teacher (who had been mine before I moved out) came over to the house while I was there for dinner. After the lesson and a few minutes of talking my home teacher turns to me and says, 'If you read the Book of Mormon and finish it, in a year from now when you go on your mission I will put in some money for your missionary fund.' I felt so good about this. This was one of the deciding factors for me to actually think about going on a mission and not put all possibilities out of the door and say goodbye to them.

I am having such a hard time deciding if I should go on a mission or not. I have a lot of people wanting me to go on a one, but then I have this feeling that I want both the LDS life and the life that the church doesn't agree with? I keep slipping into the wrong path and I just can't figure out how to do it all.

Every night I tell myself to pray. Do I actually get up and do it? No

Every time I think I should read the scriptures do I do it? No.

Whats wrong with me and what should I do differently? I know of many things I should do and I should just do it and stop sitting around telling myself I need to do it and just do it. Please help me!! haha

In Church

In church today...

I had a very good experience in Church today. It was Fast Sunday in my ward since the next two weeks we have General Conference and Stake Conference the week after.

In Elders quorum we talked about the Rising Generation and Missionary Work. It got me thinking, a lot. Now I have been thinking a lot about many things in the last couple of days about what I really want. I do want to do hair and I do want to be successful. I thought that I didn't want to go on a mission and I thought that I wanted to live my life for me and not the Lord. Today, I realized that maybe those things are things that I should do for me and the Lord. Maybe I should submit my will and do what the Lord wants for me.

Again I am in that confusion state and I don't know what to do. For me and for the Lord, I need to pray and I need to figure out the best way, not the easiest way. I hope that I can do that.