The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Road to my Dream, Part 3

Just Do It.

Something has changed within me.Something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second-guessing too late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap. It's time to try Defying gravity. I think I'll try Defying gravity.
And you can't pull me down. So if you care to find me look to the western sky (LA). As someone told me lately - Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly and if I'm flying solo At least I'm flying free. To those who'd ground me take a message back from me - Tell them how I am defying gravity! I'm flying high Defying gravity! And soon I'll match them in renown And nobody in all of Oz(Utah),no wizard that there is or was is ever gonna bring me down!

Unlike Elphaba, I am not being accused of being evil. Like Elphaba, I have to defy gravity and reach for the stars and chase my dreams. To me that is what this song is about. To me, Elphaba has to Defy Gravity not only to get away from the guards, but to reach for her dreams. Now I have NEVER seen Wicked, but it is my all time favorite musical and I want to see it so bad. On Broadway, in New York. I have the Grimmerie and have flipped through it so many times that I do know what happens. This is all beside the point I'm afraid.

In a Glee Episode, Rachel and Kurt have a Diva-Off. Both of these talented young singers compete to sing Defying Gravity. I loved this episode so much. It helped me realize that I too can defy gravity no matter what happens to me. No matter what my sexual orientation is, I can defy gravity. I can do whatever I want. It doesn't matter what people think I should do, I need to defy gravity. So does everyone else.

Over the last few days I have given something very serious a lot of thought. Should I, or should I not, go on a mission? You might think that this is off the topic, but its not. It is a deciding factor on what is going to happen in my life starting now. Along the lines of Defying Gravity, I can't let other people get in the way of what I want. I'm an adult and I need to start making my own decisions. I can't let the fear of disappointing the people I love the most ground me and make me unhappy. This goes for everyone out there. We have to make our own decisions and we can't let the fear of disappointing others be the deciding factor of any choice. You've gotta do it for yourself.

The Road to my Dream starts now with mydecision.


  1. I love, love, love Wicked! Haven't seen it on Broadway, but the version I saw had better singers than the ones on the Broadway-cast CD that I just HAD to own. I was frankly a little disappointed in the singing on the CD. Still LOVE Wicked, though. I've only just begun to realize the many parallels with homosexuality. There's a great section on the Affirmation website on things to consider when deciding whether or not to serve a mission. Did you check out my mission memoirs on my blog? Those may help as you think about your decision.

  2. @ Mister Curie your mission memoirs are a big part of my decision. My roommate and I both read them and talked about it afterwards. It is the kind of things that you did while on your mission that I am worried about. Since you didn't know at the time that you were gay it wasn't as bad. I know that i'm gay and I know that I might fall for one of my companions and I don't want anything to happen negatively. I'm pretty sure on my decision. Thanks